Akatsuki And Cards
by Kings-Shadow
Summary: A series of drabbles about the Akatsuki playing some card games. Please R&R Note: I do NOT swear and therefore in supstitution to Hidan's swearing I put 'beep' or ****.


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto...sadly. and I do NOT own Egyptian Rat Screw, if you want to know how to play it either ask me in a review to this fic or a PM please, I do accept annomminous reviews so you don't have to be a memeber to review. If you already know how to play enjoy the fic, ok enjoy the fic even if you don't know how to play. Please R&R.

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Eight hands slammed onto the table, they were piled on top of each other. "What the beep, Itachi. You beep cheated!" Hidan whined loudly.

"How would he cheat?" Deidara snapped.

"Why would he cheat, he's winning." Kisame stated.

"He probably put a beep genjutsu on everyone-"

"Hidan quit complaining." Kakuzu said putting a card down. "It's your turn, you have two chances."

"Shut the beep up! I know!" Hidan smacked his first card down in frustration. Before he could put his last one down Tobi slapped the cards.

"Sandwich!" Tobi cheered.

Deidara lifted his hand and looked at the cards. "Idiot that a nine, not a six." Deidara put the cards back. "Now put your top card on the bottom of the pile."

Sasori smiled slightly. "Hidan continue."

"Right." Hidan put his second card down. "Ha, it's an 'Ace', you don't get it!" Hidan yelled.

Kakuzu twitched. "Do you have to do that every time?"

"Beep yeah!"

Zetsu then put his last four cards down; his last card was a 'Jack'. Sasori put his top card down, a queen, Zetsu frowned, the lost all their cards, now they have to slap back in.

Deidara set down a queen and quickly slapped the stack; the mouth on his hand licked the cards.

"Ugh Deidara, that's disgusting." Complained Kisame.

"Sorry, un. I'll put a glove on, yeah?"

"Good, cause we're not buying new ones." Kakuzu sighed setting his stack of cards down. "I'll be back, you can continue without me, no one touch my cards." He said counting them quickly then leaving.

"Paranoid beep." Hidan stated he jumped slightly when five hands smacked the table.

"Who got it?" Sasori asked.

"Um...I have no idea." Zetsu's whit half sighed knowing they didn't get it.

"I think Tobi got it." Deidara stated Irrated that he didn't get it.

"No Itachi did." Kisame argued.

A hand reached down and swiped the cards up; they all looked up to see their leader, Pein. "You want to play, un?" Deidara asked both confused and shocked. Pein almost never interacted with them. The fearless leader nodded. "Ok, then I guess leader-san gets the cards, un!"

"Do you know how to play leader-san?" Sasori asked as Pein pulled up a chair.

"I believe so."

"Ok well you start then."

Pein gently set a card down, his ring tapping the table.

"Hm Leader you might want to take the ring off, yeah?" Deidara said. "It'll hurt when we all slap."

"Mmm." Pein pulled his ring off and put it on his other hand.

Kakuzu came back in with nine cubs of sake and some dumblings. He just handed one to every person and set his top card down. The game continued, there were several face cards and no slaps, until Deidara set one down, most everyone slapped, their hands landed directly on top of Deidara's hand.

"Ow!" Deidara yelped pulling his hand out from under theirs.

Pein blinked, he was the only one that didn't slap.

"You can slap as well leader-san." Sasori informed him.

"I know."

Kisame pulled the cards toward him since he won the slap.

"How the beep are both Itachi and Kisame winning." Hidan whined.

"We still have a ways to go, for all you know Tobi could end up winning, yeah?" Deidara said.

"Or Zetsu for that matter, he's out." Itachi said as he set a card down, as before the game continued. Hidan set a three down and Pein lightly slapped, but there was a thud that followed.

"Sandwich." he quietly said letting everyone see, Sasori nodded.

After about ten minutes Konan came in quietly. "May I play?"

"Beep no!" Hidan shouted.

Pein instantly glared at him. "Yes Konan, you may play."

"do you want to slap in our have everyone give you a few cards?" Kisame asked.

"Second option please." She pulled a chair up and sat in between Pein and Itachi, Pein to her left, Itachi to her right. Everyone handed her three cards from their own stacks. "Do you remember how to play?"

"Yes."

Pein looked at her. "you've played this with them before?"

"Once, but only for one game."

"Yep and Konan-san won!" Tobi cheered.

Zetsu watched as the game continued, he watched closely waiting for either a sandwich or a double. One finally came and he slapped.

"Beep, how did you see that so fast?" Hidan scoffed.

"**It's called watching, idiot**." Zetsu's black half bantered.

Hidan glared. "Who ya calling an idiot, you beep plant." Hidan raged.

"Calm down it's just a few cards." Konan soothed.

Hidan rolled his eyes, Zetsu set one of his cards down and the game continued, the order went something like this: Zetsu, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, Kisame, Itachi, Konan, Pein, Kakuzu, Hidan and back again. Tobi and Deidara both slapped. "I got it un!" Deidara yelled.

"No Tobi got it!" Tobi argued, their hands were right next to each other on top of the cards.

"Yeah right I got it, my fingers under your hand!"

The continued their spatter, ticked off Deidara stood up and hit Tobi in the head. "I got the cards, un!"

Sasori twitched and scooped up the cards, he split them in tow stacks and made sure they were close to even. He handed one stack to Tobi and the other to Deidara. "Now quit arguing! Tobi it's your turn."

Deidara pouted and sat back down. 'Cranky Danna.' He thought.

Itachi set his card down, there was a double, hands were reaching in to slap. Konan quickly took action and put her card down.

"What!" Kisame stated, his hand still hitting the stack of cards.

"HEY!" Deidara whined.

"BEEP!" Hidan slumped back in his seat.

Konan smiled and stuck out her tongue, she looked like a child. Pein chuckled slightly, which took everyone but Konan completely off guard.

'Wow Leader actually seems like a normal human being.' Zetsu mentally noted.

Itachi sighed and took a drink of his sake. "Who's winning now?" He asked. Everyone looked at the size of their stacks and the sizes of everyone else's.

"I am." Grinned Kisame.

"I thought Itachi was, hmm?" Deidara yawned.  
"Well Kisame's gotten most of the doubles and sandwiches...plus all my face cards seemed to have gone to Konan-san." Itachi explained.

"Oh sorry." Konan said.

"It's perfectly fine."

"Ok, who's turn?"

"Yours, you won the stack." Pein fiddle with his glass of sake, he gently clanged it against his ring. Konan set a card down and looked at how everyone but her had a drink.

Pein noted the look in her eyes, he set his drink in front of her and took his turn.

Everyone took their turn, by now they began running out of cards, the only ones with cards were Kisame, Konan, Tobi, Pein, and Hidan. But Tobi and Hidan were fighting to stay in the game, they were both almost out of cards. All the members that were out were still sitting in their spots waiting to slap back in. Konan leaned closer to Pein and whispered in his ear, but since Itachi was closest to them he heard some of what she said, he was distracted by her secretive words so when hands slapped onto the table and onto each other, he jumped and it was very visible. Everyone but he, Konan, Pein, and Sasori burst out laughing.

"Beep, I think that was the first time I've seen you jump that beep high because you were beep scared." Hidan choked through his laughter.

Itachi glared, his sharigan gleaming. "Itachi, relax." Pein ordered, his hand under the table was gently rubbing Konan's thigh.

"Finally I'm back in, mmm?" Deidara cheered pulling the cards toward him.

Itachi deactivated his sharigan and stood up grabbing his empty glass. He looked at Kisame's glass, noting it was empty he took it, he walked into the kitchen.

Kisame reached for where his glass had been, he blinked in shock. "Where'd my cup go?"

"Itachi's refilling it." Sasori stated.

"Oh ok." He set a card down. Itachi came back and set Kisame's glass back where it was. "Thank you."

"Mmm." He set a pitcher of Sake on a side table.

The game continued stacks getting smaller, while Konan's was getting larger, by now Konan and Kisame were tied. Pein yawned and gave Konan his stack of cards. "you're done?" She asked watching him move to the couch.

"Mmmhmm." He laid down and pulled a blanked over himself.

"Uh o-ok." During the game Pein had purposely put down number cards if she put down a face card, he carefully looked at the cards before he put the down and when he won a slap he gave them to Konan. Now she was fending for herself, but with his deck mixed with hers she was winning.

Deidara had lost his deck again, so he was resting his head on the table, a small snore came from him. Sasori jerked a little, he was resting his head on his arm, his eyes closed.

Konan smiled as she looked around at the sleeping boys, her, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Itachi were the only ones awake, but Itachi looked as though he was about to fall asleep. Kisame nudged Itachi, Itachi leaned forward and allowed his head to smack into the table.

Kisame winced at the sound, but held back a laugh when Deidara shot up in panic, he looked around and groaned in protest of being woken up. Deidara got down on all fours and crawled to where a pillow had been thrown the night before, he laid down and quickly drifted off to an explosion filled dream.

Kakuzu gently set his cards down. "Well I'm going to bed, so I don't wake up with sore joints like the rest of them." He said as he left.

Hidan was sleeping slouched in his chair, he was starting to lean to the side, which would cause him to fall of the chair, Tobi had already fallen off the chair and was sleeping curled up under the table. Zetsu was sleeping on a recliner that was next to the couch.

The only two left awake set their cards down. Konan walked over to the couch and laid down with Pein, who had woken up and moved over to give her room. Kisame shrugged and went to his own room to sleep.


End file.
